The 4 Core Tenets of Mastering the "N" Word

When it comes to success there are so many areas we can focus on.

Some people focus on investing, others on hard work, others on thinking of billion dollar ideas.

There's so many different things to improve when it comes to creating the life you truly want.

But there's one area that people seem to avoid the plague.

There's one area that everyone thinks about at some point, but they never seek to improve it.

Because it's "selfish", makes them nervous, and others will judge them for saying this "N" word.

But I think it's time we stop beating around the bush and finally address this "N" word.

Negotiation.

Negotiation is one of the single biggest ways to reach your goals faster.

So many people are afraid to negotiate and they don't realize how much money, freedom, and happiness they are leaving on the table.

Negotiating is a skill that once mastered, pays dividends for the rest of your life.

Because honestly, whether you know it or not.

Everything is negotiable.

I learned this everyday watching my mom, a true master negotiator, always go for what she felt we deserved.

My mom would negotiate down to the number of noodles Olive Garden served me in my fettucine alfredo.

Almost through osmosis, and pure fascination, I picked up on the skills of negotiating from my mom.

Now years later, I always negotiate using these 4 core tenets that lead to success.

Know what you want.

Some people hear about negotiating and then they immediately go to the employer and demand the same promotion Larry got last month.

And while using comparables is huge help when asking for something, negotiating for the sake of negotiating is not.

The most important part of any negotiation is deciding what exactly is the goal of this.

What do I want to get out of this tense, sometimes awkward conversation?

Every time you negotiate you're bringing up a little bit of conflict. A little disharmony. A little unexpected bump in the road.

You always want to make sure that you know where you're headed.

If you negotiate with no goals, you might just end up walking out with less than you started with.

Trust me it happens.

Before any negotiation, write down(and yes I mean WRITE) exactly what you're looking to accomplish.

It should be short, sweet, and easy to understand.

And make sure that if you get this goal, your response will simply be a "HELL YES!"

Negotiations aren't fun for most. So the sooner you can clarify what you want and get to that goal, the quicker everyone gets to go home and watch Netflix! :)

Have multiple outs.

Another big part of high level negotiating is realizing that most times you won't get exactly what you're asking for.

Sometimes your employer just doesn't have the budget on this project.

Sometimes the car dealership will literally lose money if they lowered the price more.

Sometimes the airline literally doesn't have any more empty seats. They aren't magicians that can magically make a new one appear.

The key to success in moments like this, is having other options.

The world's best negotiators are also the most creative ones.

If your employer can't add a $10,000 sign on bonus, maybe they can cover 4 semesters of tuition for graduate school. (And we all know that 4 semesters of college is a lot more than 10k.)

If your teacher can't excuse the project you missed, maybe they can give you a handful of makeup assignments.

The person with more options and paths to reach their goal, is statistically more likely to get there.

Know when to walk away.

The second most important thing after knowing what you want, is knowing what you don't want.

You have to be clear on what is NOT okay to you.

Things that you wouldn't be okay with even if you were offered a billion dollars.

These are your NON-negotiables.

And everybody has them.

Sadly, some people find out after they've already ignored them. While others think ahead of where there boundaries are.

Don't be the former.

Think about the things you can't accept. Set your boundary. And stick to them.

Know your worth. And know that someone will respect it.

Just ask.

The last tenet of successful negotiating is the simplest of them all.

Just ask.

Whatever it is that you want, ask for it.

You can practice the perfect phrasing, body language, use comparables, and walk away when needed. But none of that will be as impactful, as just saying words, "Can I have BLANK?"

Never be afraid to ask for you truly feel you deserve.

Humans respect that.

So no matter the situation, always take that chance and ask for what you want.

Because as we all know, you will miss 100% of the shots you don...

In progress,

Tim